Why build relationships with children?

People basically don’t trust each other for no reason. Adults are unlikely to share their secrets with strangers or tell neighbors where they keep their money. In the relationship between parents and children, the situation is exactly the same: trust is not born out of nothing.

Learning to trust a child and making him trust his parents is a long journey, but it will definitely have a positive impact on family relationships and on the future life of the child. So what do you do to create a relationship based on trust?

1. Be honest. Honest parents are honest about their feelings. If dad or mom is angry, then they should talk about it and explain why. How can a child learn to be honest if his parents are not sincere themselves?

2. Accept the child as he is. In order for a child to learn to trust their parents, they need to understand that there are no good or bad experiences. The child must know that all his emotions are important, be able to share them with his parents and not be afraid that he will no longer be loved if he is sad or hurt. The child will definitely feel whether he is loved even in dirty clothes and with sand in his head, and in adolescence – with a broken heart and bad grades.
3. Build clear boundaries. Understandable boundaries for the child will help him to exercise his freedom and remove much of the anxiety of parents. A small child should know from which shelves he can take things, and from which not, and a teenager – at what time should he return home and why. These boundaries should be specific and unambiguous. It cannot be that today something is allowed, and tomorrow they are punished for it.

4. Communicate with the child. Parents are sometimes surprised that the child does not talk about what happened to him in the kindergarten or school, but to the question “How was your day?” simply responds with “OK”. In this case, parents should pay attention to themselves. Think about whether your children know what you do and how your days go? If not, then you need to start with yourself and talk about your day every day, because only in this way will children learn to do the same. A child learns to use a spoon by watching his parents do it. He also learns how to communicate.

5. Take the child’s feelings seriously. For example, a toy was taken away from a child, and he comes to his parents in tears. They don’t react to it because the problem doesn’t seem real to them. Yes, at 35 it’s not a problem, but at 5 it’s a real disaster. The child’s experiences should be taken seriously, not devalued, and, if necessary, help find a way out of the situation.